Wow

Wow....I am my father's child!!! I look just like him!!!

Well well well

So I got a random friend request on myspace and it happened to be my cousin Shawn from my dad's side! I was sooo excited that she found me!! Through her I have come in contact with Aunts, and cousins that I didn't really know that I had. Well, I knew that they existed but I just didn't know them. My dad is supposed to be contacting me so that should be interesting! I hope he doesn't back out! I really do want a relationship with my dad. No matter what happened in the past he is still my dad and he just needs to get over it! I look just like my dad and brother....scary...LOL!!

What are you trying to say?? Just spit it out!!

What is it supposed to mean when someone says that you have Promise Land mentality? Promise Land is the church I go to, but I don't know what they are trying to imply!

Bugs

Kaylynne said that she needs to inspect her sandwhich to make sure that I'm not putting bugs in it...LOL!! Where does she come up with this stuff???

Oooo La La

I am such a nerd!!! I called Tanya last night and told her to meet me for dinner! She told me to meet her at Rue and so I did! Well I was sitting in the parking lot for like 20 minutes and she still hadnt showed up so I started freaking out!! I'm such a worry wart!! I thought that she got in some huge accident or got pulled over and they were hauling her away!!! I was about to go and search for her!! Instead I texted her and said, are you ok? SHe called and was like, what are you talking about? Where are you? I told you to meet me at Rue! I was like, WHERE are YOU?? SHe was like inside...haha!! She didn't have her car so I freaked out for no reason!!! LOL!! Go figure!! At least I care...LOL!!

Tanya asked me what I wanted for dinner, but all I really wanted was some Chocolate Cake, so we went to Chillis! I was telling her my drama or whatever and I look up and saw the hottest guy ever!!! He was a cop and he was FINE!!! I looked and Tanya and she said don't even say it!! Hahaha!! Is pretty cool having a best friend that can read your mind!! We never have to speak to each other! We just read our brain waves...LOL! YOu would think that we have been friends for years and years, but only since 2006!! Shes amazing!!!

I have been seeing a lot of hotties lately!!! I saw a firefighter from ABQ at the store and I was like hmmmmmmm....LOL!!! Tanya had to drag me away...LOL!! I think most guys if they put on a uniform are hot! There is one guy I know though, it just wasn't working for him...LOL! He went to firefighting school and became a firefighter and I was like...Ugh!! Thats mean!! I will be nice!! He did take me on a nice date though! :) It was the first and the last!! He was weird!!

Cont. of Drama Drama Drama

How are you going to text me and say you don't know what the problem is cause your not sick, but turn around and tell the pastor that you can't come to church for 45 days cause your so sick you need a doctor??!! You make no sense!!! 45 days is a odd number to say you have to wait for! Some people are just weird!!!??

Little Diva

I dropped Kaylynne off at school today and there was the most adorable little girl!! She was prob around 3 or so with big light brown eyes and super blonde hair with her cowgirl boots on!!! So stinkin cute!!!?? She walked around like she owned the place!! I just wanted to squeeze her, she was so cute!! I hope my daughter looks like her!!!! :)

Hater...LOL

SO I tried to hook my friend Tanya up with this guy that I know, but she didn't like him or whatever and I kind of gave her a hard time about it! Now, I am SO glad that she didn't go with him!!! If they were together I think that I would've lost my mind...seriously!! He has a girlfriend now and he is always singing to her, praying to her, babe this and babe that!! LOL I would soooo go crazy!!! I'm a hater!! I had this dream that Tanya got engaged and they were all over each other....I was soooo disgusted in my dream...LOL! I think my exact words were "Get a Room"! It will be soooo hard if she gets married before me! Shes my partner in crime!! I'll prob sabatoge it...LOL jk!! Thats mean!! I'll be like, oh hey Bill, what are you doing here? Tanya's with Frank! She must have forgt about your date..haha!! J/K!!! I already told her that I was going to do that and she said that she would kill me! I wouldn't really destroy her happiness!! I want her to be happy....just not before me...haha!!! Tanya and Tiff both tell me daily what a hater I am! They want to buy my T-shirts with my hater ways...LOL!!

Just a thought.....

It's seriously all about going to heaven. Are you going to make it, or not? There is absolutely nothing worth going to hell over. Don't hold on to something that will keep you out of heaven. You'll have to eventually give it up anyways.

I know sometimes we want to hold onto some things, but I think it all comes back to the fact that we don't want to give God complete control in our life. We feel like we have to have some sort of control in our lives and don't want to lean on God! God knows best! He is the only one that sees the big picture!! God will never allow us to go through anything that he knows that we can't handle! When you are going through something just know that God believes in you and has complete faith in you that you will make it through!!!

Fatty Mc Fat Fat

I think that I should be ashamed of myself!! I just ate a whole pizza by myself!!! Don't let my brother find out!!! HAhahaha I'm supposed to be losing weight...not gaining it...LOL!!! It was just a small one, but still!!!! Shhhhh!!!!

Drama Drama Drama

Why is it that some people just like to start drama when its really not that big of a deal to begin with and they bring the drama unto themselves??!! I'm dealing with a certain situation right now and it is soooo frustrating!! I watch my nieces as a favor to help Esmeralda and Neil out! I'm like the back-up babysitter since they already have a regular babysitter. The regular babysitter has been calling in sick on a consistent basis so I have been babysitting a LOT! To make a long story short the babysitter is a big time moocher and takes advantage of them so bad!! She has now started to text me and is trying to start stuff cause shes mad that I've been watching the girls! Some people just need to grow up!!!! By the texts that she is sending Esma I know where this is headed. Shes going to say that it is my fault and there weren't problems until I started watching the girls and Esma just likes me Best! Yes, I am family to the Morebecks but you need to get yourself a reality check!! You wouldn't be in the situation that you are in if you would just go to work when you are supposed to!! Some people!!! Thats all that I am going to say!!!! :)

This song has been on replay in my mind

Verse 1
Holiness, holiness is what I long for
Holiness is what I need
Holiness, holiness is what
You want for me, for me

Chorus
Holiness, holiness is what I long for (that's what I long for)
Holiness is what I need
Holiness, holiness is what
You want for me

Verse 2
Righteousness, righteousness is what I long for
Righteousness is what I need (thats what I need)
Righteousness, Righteousness is what
You want for me, for me
So, take my heart and mold it

Chorus
So, take my heart and mold it (So, take my heart and mold it)
Take my mind, transform it (Take my mind, transform it)
Take my will, conform it (Take my will, conform it)
To Your, to Your, oh, Lord (Take my will, conform it)

Brokiness, brokiness is what I long for
Brokiness is what I need (gotta be broken)
Brokiness, brokiness is what
You want for me, for me
So, take my heart and mold it

Chorus
So, take my heart and mold it
Take my mind, transform it
Take my will, conform it
To Yours, to Yours, oh, Lord

Chorus
Take my will, conform it (Take my will, conform it)
Take my mind transform it (Take my will, conform it)
Take my will conform it (Take my will conform it)
To Your, to Your, oh, Lord (To Your, to Your, oh, Lord)
(2x's)

Holiness, holiness is what I long for
Holiness is what I know I need
Holiness, holiness is what
You want for me
I want to be holy
Choir
Its what you want for me
I got to be holy
Choir
It's what you want for me

Your Grace Is Enough......

Great is Your faithfulness oh God
You wrestle with the sinner's heart
You lead us by still waters and to mercy
And nothing can keep us apart

So remember Your people
Remember Your children
Remember Your promise
Oh God

Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough for me

Great is Your love and justice God
You use the weak to lead the strong
You lead us in the song of Your salvation
And all Your people sing along

So remember Your people
Remember Your children
Remember Your promise
Oh God

Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough for me [x2]

So remember Your people
Remember Your children
Remember Your promise
Oh God

Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough for me

Your grace is enough
Heaven reaching down to us
Your grace is enough for me
God I see your grace is enough
I'm covered in your love
Your grace is enough for me
For me

Promises....

I am so thankful and I am holding on to the promises that God gave me! I am so glad that God doesn't break his promises. When God makes a promise you can be certain that it will come to pass!!

I am truly blessed......

I just saw on facebook something that was posted by a pastor, it stated that he had spoken with a Army Major that had to meet with a family in Oakland, Ca! The Army Major was going to a home of a 20 year old that was killed in Afghanastan! I thought, wow, my little brother is in the Army and he was supposed to go to Afghanastan but it got cancelled by Obama. My brother will be 20 in December! I could not even imagine if my brother was no longer with me and was killed in action! Wow, I am so blessed to still have my brother here with me! It makes you think that you are not promised anything but today so you should cherish the time that you have now with your family and friends! You never know when it is your time to go! This status really hit home for me!! Thank you Jonathan for serving and for being my brother!! I love you sooo much and I couldn't even imagine living a day without you in my life! I am soooo thankful to all the troops and all that are serving and have served!! Thank You!!! :)

Hymns

The way we might sing some well-known hymns if we were being honest:

1. I Surrender Some
2. There Shall Be Sprinkles of Blessings
3. Fill My Spoon, Lord
4. Oh, How I Like Jesus
5. He’s Quite a Bit to Me
6. I Love to Talk About Telling the Story
7. Take My Life and Let Me Be
8. It is My Secret What God Can Do
9. There is Scattered Cloudiness in My Soul Today
10. Onward, Christian Reserves
11. Where He Leads Me, I Will Consider Following
12. Just As I Pretend to Be

At the Wedding

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."

The child thought about this for a moment, then said "So why is the groom wearing black?"

Reasons not to wash

If you took the same excuses that people use for not going to church and apply them to other important areas of life you'd realize how inconsistent we can be in our logic. For example: Reasons Not To Wash

1. I was forced to as a child.
2. People who make soap are only after your money.
3. I wash on special occasions like Christmas and Easter.
4. People who wash are hypocrites-they think they are cleaner than everyone else.
5. There are so many different kinds of soap, I can't decide which one is best.
6. I used to wash, but it got boring so I stopped.
7. None of my friends wash.
8. The bathroom is never warm enough in the winter or cool enough in the summer.
9. I'll start washing when I get older and dirtier.
10. I can't spare the time

Top 12 things not to say to a cop that has pulled you over

l. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are you Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the Officer says "Gee Son...Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?' You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer your eyes looked glazed, have you been eating donuts?

Love Joke

One night a guy dropped his girlfriend at her home.

As they were about to wish each other goodnight at the front door, the guy started feeling a little in the mood. With an air of confidence, he leaned with his hand against the wall and smiling, he said to her, "Honey, would you give me a kiss?"

Horrified, she replied, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"

"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?"
He asked grinning at her.

"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"

"Oh come on!"

"There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"

"No way, it's just too risky!"

"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?"

"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!"

"Oh yes you can. Please?"

"No, no. I just can't!"

"I'm begging you ... "

Out of the blue, the light on the stairs went on, and the girl's elder sister showed up in her pajamas, hair dishevelled. In a sleepy voice she said, "Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss, or I can do it. Or if need be, mom says she can come down herself and do it, but for God's sake and all of ours....

TELL HIM TO TAKE HIS HAND OFF THE DOOR BELL!"

If it could happen to Rihanna........

Why do some women end up with losers or abusers?


The answer - abusive men are often exciting. Their passion, when properly applied, can be quite captivating. Unfortunately, they frequently use that same passion when they become upset to inflict evil upon a woman. Often their victims say that their rage seemed to appear “out of nowhere.”

In addition, many women in this situation often use this phrase, “I know what he did was bad, but when he’s good, he’s sooo good. This bad stuff isn’t really him. I know the person he truly is.” What’s sad is that they often see this man as someone who is basically good who just happens to lose his temper on occasion.


What they, and hopefully Rihanna, need to remember is what James Allen once said:
“Circumstances don’t make a man, they reveal him.”


If a man ever hits a woman that violent nature was inside of him before he ever met that woman. She did not cause or contribute to that violent nature, nor is she responsible for it.

Date Night

Don't you think that it would be cool to have date night with your closest girlfriends and thier significant others? I think it would be fun, but alas I am single and so are all my close friends!! :( I think Bre and I will have a anti-Valentines Day Bash together!!! LOL we are such haters on anyone that is happy!! We hate couples!! :) Thats why we are soooo good together!! We can be miserable together...LOL!! Well, I could go either way actually cause sometimes I just love love and sometimes it makes me sick!! Depends on my mood I guess!! Sometimes Bre says I'm a traitor to our cause!! LOL!! Shes such a dork!!! Bre and I are still praying that Tiffany breaks up with her boyfriend so we can be the 4 bays again...LOL!! Tiff is so annoying when we got out to eat!! Bre and I hate eating anywhere the mall if Julio is working cause Tiff orders and just leaves us there!!! Rude!!! Boys ruin everything!!! LOL!!! I'm so just kidding about Tiffany leaving Julio!! Tiff is my sister and I want her to be happy! Her happiness is my happiness!! Julio is a alright guy! I didn't like him at first but he has rubbed off on me and he is pretty cool!! He makes my sister happy and thats all that really matters I suppose!!! BUT my brother has weapons if he crosses the line...LOL....and I'm not playing about that...haha!!

Moooo....I'm a Pig!!! :)

So I am sure that a lot of you have heard about my little swine flu epidemic! It sucks!! I am soooo miserable!! I'm never letting a child kiss me EVER again....seriously!! Taylor kissed me while she was sick and gave me a sore throat....and it went downhill from there!! That little stinker isn't even sick anymore!!!! I on the other hand am VERY sick!!! My family sprays me with Lysol every chance they get!! Yes....they are rude jerks....LOL!!! Tiffany is the worst one!! Shes such a blonde!! She was spraying me with air freshener...thinking that it was somehow disinfecting me!!! They've talked about setting up a tent in the backyard and putting my bed out in the tent so I can be alone with my sickness!!! Rude!!! LOL!!! Tiffany will prob get it eventually cause we sleep in the same bed (my bed) and she said I cough all over her all night so she has to keep her whole body under the covers!! Pray that I get well VERY soon!!! I hate being sick!!!!

Jennnnnn........

I am not talking to Fred from Canada or Ted from Alaska...haha!!! Who do you think I am?? I'm swearing off boys for a whole day!! LOL!!! I know that I always say this and then change my mind, but seriously I am going to try REALLY hard to not focus on guys at all!! I am trying to keep my prioritys straight and keep GOD as my number one! Everytime that I let it slip, everything goes straight down the tubes!!! So I am trying really hard to keep my prioritys in line!! Be proud!!!

Kids

Its so crazy when I see people that I went to school with and they already have kids! I guess I'm just behind in the times!! I took Kaylynne to school today and saw a few people that I knew that were taking their kids to school and I was thinking to myself that I couldn't see myself taking my own kids to school! I guess I just can't see myself being a mom yet! My childhood best friend has a 10 year old and I just can't imagine myself at all having a 10 year old!! Yikes!!! Thats scary to just think about!! Maybe one day I will have kids, but I really don't want them until I'm at least 30! I'm still enjoying my life and I like not being tied down to a child! I see some of my friends that have kids and they can barely go outside or go to the bathroom for that matter without dragging the kids with them. I guess I'm just not ready for that responsibility yet! It wouldn't other me if I never had kids. It would be nice to have at least one of my own, but it wouldn't be the end of the world if it didn't happen. I think that Tanya and I may be the only ones at our age without children. Everyone else our age has already had at least one child, married or not. Its sooo crazy to me!!!

My Dear Friend Michelle

I thank God for putting the most amazing people into my life!! My friend Michelle is prob the sweetest person that I have ever met and has been such a encouragement in my life!! When I am down I can call her and she can instantly lift my spirits up! She has such a beautiful spirit! I love her soooo much!! She is such a positive and encouraging person to be around! I am so happy for her!! She is getting married in March and I can't wait!! God has blessed her abundantly!! It seems just like yesterday we were sitting around the table at Rosa's talking about how single we were and then BAM shes getting married!!! She just glows whenever I see her!!! Congrats to you Michelle and David!!! Love you bunches!!!!!

Kaylynne says the craziest things...ever!!

Kaylynne told me some crazy stuff today!! First she told me that Heaven is making Christmas right now....then she said that when she grows up she wants to be like me and work at Taco Bell, but if she can't then she wants to work at McDonalds...LOL.....Plus she said that I do my hair like a mexican!! What is that supposed to mean??!!

Money

It can buy a house…….but not a home.
It can buy a clock….….but not time.
It can buy a position…….but not respect.
It can buy a bed….….but not sleep.
It can buy a book….….but not knowledge.
It can buy medicine……but not health.
It can buy blood….….but not life.

So you see, money isn’t everything. It often causes pain and $uffering. I tell you this because I am your friend, and as your friend, I want to take away your pain and $uffering…So send me all your money, and I will $uffer for you!!!


(Cash only please)

Random but on my heart

I stole part of this from my friend Jen! Its crazy cause shes younger then me, but we can talk about really deep stuff together!

"The greatest battle we fight is not against the devil, and not even against the world....but against our own will." Wow. He went on to say that each and every one of us struggle with letting our own will crumble. We can spend years and years building our own will without realizing it, when what we really should be doing is giving our will completely to God. It so hard because you can't see the big picture, you don't know what will happen if you don't get your way because you're not in control. But I'm really starting to learn and understand more that I CAN trust God with my life. He knows it all, not me! Things might seen dark right now but if you give your will and your life completely to God, the light WILL come and He WILL take care of you! (Proverbs 3:5-6, and Matthew 6:33 say it all about this.) Must read!!

I want to make sure that I am doing God's will and not Amy's will! Its hard cause we always think that we know best! God allows us to be in control and it crumbles apart everytime, but when we trust him things work out!

Wowzers

Wow!! So the week that "BOB" and I broke up was a horrible week!! It was soooo emotional!!! Bob breaks up with me on Monday and then on Tuesday I found out that, well we will just call him Fred, got married. I wasn't sad that Fred got married, I was more in shock then anything! I was just staring into space saying wow, like over and over!! Its a hard situation! Theres no way that Fred and I could ever be together again! Its hard though cause we were best friends and then were engaged, then lived together, and were constantly in each others lives for 9 years! Thats a long time to be apart of somebodys life. Theres apart of me that will always love him, but I can't be his BFF anymore!! Its too hard!! Everyone knows mine and Fred's past...its a rough and rocky past....but despite everything I think that hes a good person! He just e-mailed me the other day and told me how much he misses my friendship and still wants to be friends and how sorry he is about "BOB" and how "BOB" is retarded.....I was thinking...well....I guess you and BOB are both retards then...LOL!! I didn't say it out loud though!! When I read his e-mail I was at church and I just started crying like hard core!! Theres a lot of feelings that I keep supressed, I guess you could say. When he talks to me he makes all kinds of memories, events, feelings, and emotions come flooding through me! Thats why I have been ignoring him for months now! It just has been easier that way...for me! Since he has been texting and e-mailing me I have to give myself pep talks just to go to sleep!! I can't let it get the best of me and bring me down to the level that I was at! It has taken me 3 years to make the progress that I have made it to at this point! It has not been a easy road for me! When he came to Texas we said our "real" goodbyes! That meant forever.....we weren't going to have anything to do with each other! Me and him have this really bad cycle that we have to talk to each other at least every 3 months! I don't know how he expects to keep talking to me having a wife!! I'm sure that she doesn't like him talking to me! Knowing our past and what a strong bond and connection we have.....no girl in her right mind would! I know when I have somebody special in my life or I'm married I'm not going to be able to continue any kind of relationship with him. He complicates things for me! To make a long story short, I haven't decided if I am going to continue to have a friendship with him! I already told him that I'm not going to make a decision with my emotions because if that was the case we all know what my decision would be!! I'm not going to set myself up to get hurt! I've had enough hurt for this year!! Between him and BOB, I can't take much more! Hes expecting me to e-mail him back but I don't think that he wants me to tell him how I feel! He'd prob be really mad when he got done reading it...I'm sure of it!! I already wrote him a e-mail before I broke up with him but decided not to send it cause it was really rude!! I don't know what to do!! Whatever is going to cause me the least amount of pain and suffering!!! I don't know why I continue to torture myself!!! LOL Enough about that!!!

Friends? Or more?

How can you tell if something is a date or you are just friends?? Theres this guy and I see him ONLY as a friend...nothing else!! Sometimes hes bordering just being friends...LOL!! So anyways we were hanging out and I was like all bummish looking and he was all decked out like we were going to meet the president!!! What we were doing was VERY casual!! Do I give him some kind of signal that there is something more?? Cause whatever that signal is...it needs to be cut off!! I think hes cool as a friend, but nothing else!! I don't want to hurt his feelings, I'm just not into him like that!! Help!!!

Times Of Refreshing

I so want to go to Life Challenge in Jan to go to Times Of Refreshing!!! All I gotta do is convince one of my nice friends that are just dying to have me stay with them!!! :) Yes? I need to visit anyways cause I am having withdrawls from all my Texas friends!!! :)

Wedding Bells!!!

Oh-Emm-Gee!!!! I almost forgot to tell you guys the most important news of all!!! My friend Michelle is getting married!!! Yay!!! I am soooo excited!! You would think it was my wedding or something!! LOL!! I saw her proposal video and I cried like a baby!! I couldn't even hear anything the first time that I saw it and I was crying!! When I was saw her cry then I really lost it!! I'm no good at weddings!! I always cry!!! LOL!! I don't know why...LOL...I'm not even really that emotional of a person!! I can't wait till March 13th!!! I'm going to Texas to see her get married off!!! Love is soooo beautiful!! I think that I have told all of my friends by now about Michelle and her wedding at least a dozen times!! I'm just sooo happy!! So my question is...when is it my turn??

Digger

We got a new dog!! Digger!! I love him!! He is sooooo cute!! Cornflake, of course, hates him!! Shes so bi-polar these days! She hates everyone!! Even me sometimes!! LOL!!

Laalalalalalala Cruise!!!!

Lalalalalalala I'm going on a cruise!!! Yeeee-ah!!! UPC should really hire me as a recruiter!! Ive got quite a few people wanting to go on the cruise!! Of course most of them have been guys...LOL!! Theres going to be toooo many girls as it is!! Technically I'm doing the girls a favor!! I'm evening the ratio of guys to girls out!! Right?? LOL Sounds good to me!!! Its a UPC Singles Cruise that is going to the Carribeans and I can't wait!!! Sooooo excited!! Why do you think I am working 3 jobs?? Not for my health...LOL!!! I think that it will be a lot of fun!! I plan on being on the beach every time that the boat docks!!! I love the beach!! I want to go jet skiing and parasailing!! Anyone down?? Tanya won't go parasailing with me!! Shes a loser!! LOL jk Tanya....I love you!!!

Job

So I finally got a job! Soooo not the job that I want but I guess it will do until I can find something that is better!!! Back at grand 'ol Taco Bell!!! I swore that I would never step foot into that place again, but look where the economy has drug me...LOL!! I'm pretty sure that the District Manager is a drug dealer.....I was like...wow!!! Then I was like....Get me outta here!!! I hate the place but they give me a paycheck!! Who knows where that grand paycheck can take me!! :) I also work at Rue 21 and thats not bad since Tanya is my boss and all!! Oh yeah, and I also watch Kaylynne and Ayla!! Thats a super easy job! They are sooo good!! They are definitly preparing me to be a mom someday!! :) I taught Ayla how to say crazy...LOL....I have to watch what I say around her!! She kp saying it over and over!!! I was looking for a switch to turn her off, but alas she didn't come with one!!!!! KK told me today did you know that heaven is making christmas and the devil made halloween??!! Haha sooo cute!! She also said that the devil was making her bones move around...LOL....kinda freaky!!! So lets have a moment of silence in honor of Amy's bomb new job that doesn't include dirty diapers, burritos, tacos, or folding clothes!!!!!

Helllloooo Loooovveeesss

Helllllloooo my Long lost loves!!! I know that you have missed my lovely little face just popping up!! :) You prob didn't even notice that I was gone!! Great friends you are!!! LOL JK!! I have sooo much catching up to do!! Better grab your pillow and blanket LOL!! Jen says that I should put the link to my blog on facebook so everyone can see what goes through my little mind and see how crazy I really am...but I'm not sure I'm ready to have no friends...LOL!! So thanks Jen, but I will consider you suggestion...don't count on it though!! I guess you know who your real friends are by the ones that stick around when are at your worst!! Tiff, Tanya, Tiff, and Bre have been there for me through thick and thin!! Haha I just noticed that I put Tiff twice!! She has to live with me so she has to endure more!! Poor thing!! I meant to put Jen!! Jen is the furthest away so can just hang up on me and tell Bre to sick me!! Haha!!

So there was this one guy that I was talking to for a whole year......but um....He's getting married!! Haha story of my life!! I'm happy for him!!

Seriously....I am...LOL

I went to camp meeting in August with Tanya and Tiff and it was AMAZING!! It was seriously fantastic!! I was going through a really tough time at the time and I really needed JESUS!! I told Tanya and Tiff that we had to sit in the front because I wanted to make sure that Jesus would fine me!! They thought I was just acting like my crazy self, but I was sooo serious!! See, thats what happens when you act crazy all the time...no one takes you seriously when you are really being serious!! The first night was really good, but the second night was BOMB!!! I feel sorry for the guy that was next to me at the altar....lets just say I'm sure he hates me....LOL...a lot!! There were 3 messages everyday and I felt like they were looking through my soul or something every single message!! Like they were reading off of a note pad that the Private Investigator gave them...LOL!! It was freaky!! But in a very good way!! Lets just say I didn't leave that place the same that I came in! I wanted Jesus to find me and indeed he did..LOL!!! I had never been to camp meeting so it was a really good first experience for me!! When I went I told myself...no guys!!! No browsing....keep your eyes on the altar!! I did pretty good for it being..well ME! LOL!! Tanya was even impressed so you know I was doing good!! It takes a lot to impress her!! I decided at Camp Meeting that I had to let a lot of stuff go and I needed to stop focusing so much on guys and needed to focus more on God!! I think that I was doing pretty well!! Until......

SO I met this guy....we will just call Bob! LOL thats not really his name, but just in case anyone knows him we will keep it on the down low!! In the very beggining Bob scared the living daylights out of me because yeah I wanted a boyfriend but it scared me after the last oh so wonderful one!! I guess guys are great until they get too close to me and then it freaks me out!! I get over it but it just takes awhile! Bob tried and tried to break my walls down, but I wasn't about to let anyone in. I've let people in partially but never really all the way. Its a downfall and I shouldn't be that way, but I am. Then I finally did it....I let him in! We were planning on getting married and I was planning on moving to New Mexico. FYI...thats the only hint you nosey friends of mine are getting to who it is...LOL!! But almost as quickly as it started it ended! It broke my heart because I really loved him! :( He always had some dumb reason for breaking up with me. A mutual friend thought that there might be someone else and he just needed a dumb reason to break it off....who really knows! Hes a guy...thats what guys do...LOL!! Now if I would've blogged this about a month ago this would've been one LONG...agonizing story...LOL!! All my really close friends had to hear about it for what seemed like forever...poor dolls!! Tanya says I need to learn to just let things go, but thats so hard for me!! I hold on to things and try to fix things for like years....seriously!! I'm a fixer...I like to fix things that I think are broken but sometimes I have to realize that I can't fix everything!! I'm not super woman!! The one thing that makes me sad is that we aren't friends anymore and don't even speak to each other. We ruined a great friendship by being in a relationship. :( What can you do though? I've tried everything that I can think of, but hes stubborn....LOL....just like me!! I want to still be friends but I need to get that little thought out of my pretty little head!! SOme days are easier then others, and I wish I had a little switch to switch on and off to not care about someone anymore....but I don't!! Thats enough about BOB...LOL

Bre is a hott mess!!!

Need I say anymore?

Jobless

No bueno! I am still jobless! I really need to get my butt in gear and get a job! Its been kind of nice laying around the house and doing stuff with my girls everyday! When I work its hard for us to do anything at all cause I'm always working or our hours conflict! Last week I stayed with my bff for 4 days and I thought I lived with her for a second there lol. We were at my moms and I told her something about I was visiting her. Tannie looked at me all crazy and was like you live here haha! It was funny! So now she has to remind me where I live! I've never not had a job for this long! Maybe that's why I've been feeling lazy, cause I'm not working. Pray that I get a job really really soon!!

oh my

Why is it raining and thundering outside? Its supposed to be summer! What's going on?!

I officially hate moving!!

I officially hate moving!! Why can't everything just magically appear where you want it to go?? Moving stinks!!

You are the love of my life

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-qdErB-ubI

Isn't it beautiful??

Hello again world!!

yi yi yi!! I am so exhausted!! I have been trying to cram all of my stuff into my car and its not working very well!! I'm going to have to throw a lot of my stuff in the dumpster! (tear) I have come to the conclusion that maybe, just maybe, I have way too many clothes!! It is scorching outside!! Everytime I get some more energy and walk outside, the sun soaks it all up! My sister says its just because I'm a bum! Maybe thats true! As soon as I FINALLY finish packing and throwing everything else away it will take me at least 21 hours to drive home! My dad, my mom, or my brother was supposed to fly out here and help me move and pack, but the plane tickets were too expensive, so now they aren't!! (tear) Maybe its a good thing cause I prob would've sat in the house while they packed the car!! LOL! Don't worry...when I get home...they are so unpacking my car!! I guess since it will prob be mothers day when I get there, my mom will have to do it!! Lol j/k! I'm not that cruel!! I am really excited about going back home...well kinda. I want to be around my family and my best of friends, but I will miss living in my own apartment! I'm going to check the rock church out when I get back to Cali! My friend Sandy is going to go with me since she lives in Sacramento, I hope that it impacts her in a good way! She didn't care for Promise Land when she went there with me! She had a bad experience! So pray this will be a good experience for her! It would be awesome for us to go to church together somewhere!

If I would've got my lazy bum in gear I could be laying at the beautiful California beach with Tannie right now!! How depressing! Instead I'm here in good 'ol west texas!

I seriously need a nice strong man to do all of my moving duties...lol.

I guess I should stop being lazy and go outside and at least pretend to move stuff around...haha

I really think that I could sleep for weeks when this is all over!!

What a great great day with Yvette

Oh my goodnes!! I was laughing so hard! I just love my home girl Yvette's daughter!! She is so freaking adorable!! Dayleen was over at my house chilling with me and Yvette and she was all following Cornflake around calling her Popcorn!! It was soooo cute! She is adorable! She would laugh super hard everytime that Cornflake licked her!! Everytime I try to speak spanish to her, she looks at me like I done lost my mind...lol

Yvette is my blonde mexican home girl!! She is such a dummy, but that is why I love her!! So she was telling me a story about when she was pregnant and I'm going to share with you her smarts...lol

So there was a guy that she thought was really hot before she got pregnant, but she never talked to him, he just gave her the "eye". So she thought he was into her or whatever. When she got pregnant she didn't see him because she stayed home a lot. Well she saw him at a resturant when she was VERY pregnant and he was outside and he could only see her face. When he came into the resturant and saw her stomach he kind of looked at weird! She was trying to get her grub on and she was eating a burrito. The guy looked and her and said what are you having??

What do you think my amazing friend said????

She said she was having a combonation with some bacon........

He said I meant the baby.....

What a genius!! I couldn't stop laughing!! She told me the story because we went to Bush's chicken to go and get a drink and this really hot guy came to our car to get our order. She was kind of flirting with him and he said that our total was only $1. Yvette was freaking out and said that home boy was hooking us up. She was going on and said it was because she talked to him in spanish...lol. We were making fools of ourselves because we thought he gave us a discount. When we pulled out of the drive thru there was a big sign that said happy hour....drinks $0.47...haha we are so dumb!

Oh My

Oh my!! It has been a rough couple of days!! I have been crying my little eyes out! I am so thankful for such great friends at times like these. I don't know what I would do without them! They are the greatest!! They can make me laugh when all I want to do is cry! I hope I get over my little delima very soon!!

♥Me

What a day!!

What a tiring day! I didn't do a thing! I sat around and ate all day!! I know....I was super lazy! I'm still tired from driving 1600 miles....twice....to California and back! Whew! What a journey! I have to go to work in the morning! Joy of all joys! I think that I forgot how to do my job...haha! Until next time!!

♥Me

Letting Go

So, I don't know why I have the hardest time letting go of certain people that are in my life! They treat me like trash, but if they act just a little bit nicer its like I forget about everything and act like nothing ever happened. Even though they just go right back to treating me like trash the next day! Bre says that I just need to get "black" on some people. I tried being mean, but when I am, I always feel bad. Ugh!! It is sooo frustrating at times!! Everytime that I think that I am done with him, he magically just prances right back into my life! Its like a death trap!! Help!!

♥Me

If a man wants you

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.

Slower is better. Never live your life for a man, before you find what makes you happy.

If a relationship ends because the man wasn't treating you as you deserve, then heck no, you cannot "be friends."

A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle. If you feel like he's stringing you along, then he probably is.

Don't stay because you think "it will get better."

You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.

He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, so why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bother you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything, He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man's behavior.

Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are even if he's making more , has an higher education, or has a better job.

Don't make him into a quasi-god.

He's a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man.

If he cheated with you, he's cheat on you.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending comprise is a two way street.

You need time to heal between relationships there is nothing cute about baggage. Deal with you issues before pursuing a new relationship.

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you.. A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals look for someone complimentary not supplementary.

Dating is fun even if he doesn't turn out o be Mr. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes when a man always knows where you are and our always readily available to him. He takes it for granted.

Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man.

Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.

Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Share this with other ladies

You'll make them smile, another rethink her choices, and another women prepare.

♥One day my Prince will come

--One day your prince will come, mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions.
--Smile always ... and live the smile!
--The best thing you can give someone is a chance.
--Don't push anyone to hard, if it's meant to be, it will happen.
--They say true love hides behind every corner ... I must be walking in circles!
--Tonight I'll ask the stars above, "How will I win your love? What do I do? What do I say to turn your eyes my way?"
--For all of you who talk about me ... thanks for making me the center of your world!
--Never start frowning because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
--When a girl loves a guy, the sweetest thing in the world is to hear him admit that he treasures her.
--Love is giving someone the power to break your heart, but trusting that they won't.
--A boyfriend is someone you can go to crying in your PJs, your hair a mess, make-up running down your face, and he'd still say, "Baby, you're beautiful"!
--Once you find the right person, all of a sudden, anything is possible.
--Making sacrifices is what love is all about, just make sure you're not the only one making them.
--Friendship is just a word, but girls give it a meaning.

So

So today I was reminded that I am so much better then what I always settle for. Maybe I was over it and never realized that I was. I have lowered my standards and its time that I raise them up again. I have done a lot of thinking during the past couple of days. Im a little hurt but at least I know the truth now and can make a decision based off that. I think that I havent been living in "reality" about the situation.

Ugh....Men!

I seriously do not understand guys at all!!! Why do they act like they want one thing just to be like surprise thats not what I want....I want this. Which is perfectly fine but I think we would've saved everyone a lot of heartache if they would've just said that in the very beginning. Why do guys play games?? Is it really that fun?? Does it get you off in some weird twisted way?? I seriously do not understand! Why am I always like your best friend or a little sister?? Maybe I don't want to be your best friend or little sister!! Always the friend never the bride. I'm not saying that I want to run to the chapel and get married..I just want more then to just be your best friend. I was talking to Tanya last night about everything and I must be doing something wrong. What that is, I have no idea. I am just confused and frustrated!! So if I seem way quiet, its because I'm trying to let you go without hurting both of us. I don't know what else to say to you..I've said all there is to say. You want the best of both worlds, but I'm sorry, thats just not going to happen. Not with this girl anyways. I'm going to stop before I say too much!!!!

Random Gibberish

its amazing how you feel like your life is going in such a way that your almost miserable but not quite...then all of a sudden everything changes for you. As a lot of my close friends know...my heart has been in pieces. I felt like i would never get over this person even though its been 2 years. Its been really hard for me to accept the fact that we are over but i have finally accepted it. It was a lot of praying and a whole lot of crying. I know that i will have to work at it everyday and i know that my feelings wont just vanish. I kept asking god why he allows me to hurt and i finally got a answer. Scars are there to remind you of the past and who you were. I was reminded yesterday of how much i have grown and how different i am since moving back to cali. Also i couldnt understand why i couldnt let stuff go...this very special person told me i hadnt learned what god was trying to teach me. Which was true....i was trying to do everything on my own and i wasnt trusting in god at all. Lets just say that yesterday my eyes opened up to a lot of things and i have peace and can accept his decision in my heart now. Im also glad that i never hooked up with anyone cause i would have drove any man to drinking...lol seriously. On a side note..i met this amazing person! He has so many qualities that i admire..ill keep you updated

Letting go takes love

To let go does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off,
it's the realization I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable,
but allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means
the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
it's to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.
To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective,
it's to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny,
but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.

To let go is to fear less and love more
Remember: The time to love is short

And I DO LOVE YOU THIS IS WHY I LET YOU GO !

Put down the phone and nobody gets hurt

Closure. It's amazing what we will do for it. We'll move mountains, stand for hours in the pouring rain, smear macaroni and cheese over our body and show up wearing nothing but a trench coat. All so we can tie up our failed relationship with a neat little bow.

So he's vanished on you. Whether it's been two weeks or two years, there's no denying it sucks. All of a sudden you're left wondering what you did wrong. How could you not have seen it coming? Everything seemed to be going so well. Just one more conversation will help you understand it all. He's your drug and you need a fix. So you pick up the phone to call, with the following fantasy conversation running through your head:

You: Hi, John. How have you been?
John: Miserable. Life without you is unbearable. How could I have been such a fool to let you go? I'll be over in five minutes to spend every second of the rest of my life making it up to you.

In reality, the conversation goes a little like this:

You: Hi, John. How have you been?
John: Fine.
You: You haven't called for a while.
John: Yeah, I've been busy.
You: Can I see you?
John: I've really got a lot going on right now. I don't have a minute to spare.

"Busy" is guy code for "I'm just not that into you." To tell the truth, it's girl code too. We all jump through hoops to avoid hurting someone else. No one wants to say, "You know, you're just not doing it for me anymore." Pain is a fact of life -- sometimes we cause it, sometimes someone causes it for us. But there's no denying when a relationship is right, there will be no need to beg the other person to see you. He won't be able to stay away.

Closure isn't something someone else gives you. It is something you give yourself, once you've healed. There's nothing that other person can tell you to help you heal any faster; you simply must mourn the relationship and reach a point where you're ready to move on. And the best way to start healing is to cut off all contact.

So before you pick up that telephone, imagine how you'll feel when he doesn't answer. Or when he blows you off. Every time you call, you're just giving him one more chance to hurt you. If he weren't planning to reject you, don't you think he'd be calling you? Surely he hasn't forgotten your phone number already.

Very wise words I once read: "Every romantic relationship you ever have will not work out. Until you find the one that does." It just takes one, folks. And it could be that person you meet six months after you've kicked the sorry jerk who didn't treat you right out of your life...or six years later. There's no way to know for sure. But the only way to find him is to get over the one who doesn't want you and get back out there again.

When your friends don't like your boyfriend

Every girl wants a group of friends like the ones in Sex and the City. Friends who are there for you through everything. Friends who show up at your house when you've gone through a breakup with a pint of Ben and Jerry's and a box of Kleenex. Friends who sit with you all night, wiping your nose as you cry your heart out. Or just come over to get you drunk and try to make you laugh.


Friends who take you out on the town to get your mind off of things.

Friends who are elated for you when you find the man of your dreams and want to punch his lights out when he hurts you.


Most of the time, if your friends don't like your man it's because of something YOU have told them. But occasionally there's someone that comes along that just sets off the "bad guy radar" in one or all of the girls you hang out with. Maybe it's based on men you've dated in the past. Maybe he's just one of those guys who has "loser" written all over him. Or maybe he talks to you like you're dirt. Whatever the case, with this guy, they schedule an intervention. They all come to you to break the news to you. And that is:

"We don't like this guy."

So what do you do?

Remember, these are friends you've had for a long time. Friends who have been with you through everything. While it's true, YOU are the one who has to spend significant amounts of time with him, not them, doesn't their opinion count for something?


I see two scenarios here. On the good side, your friends know you better than anyone. They have your best interests at heart. If they're telling you they don't like your man, maybe you should listen. Nobody knows you as well as THEY know you.

Except...well...YOU.

But love is blind and who's to say your instincts about this new guy aren't completely off. Maybe he is the jerk they say he is. Maybe you should listen to your friends and "lose that loser." But what if they don't have your best interests at heart? What if their disapproval is motivated by something else? A little evil monster called...


Not jealousy because they want the man you have but jealousy because they want WHAT you have. Which is happiness. In an ideal world, we'd all have friends like Miranda and Charlotte and Samantha -- friends who only wanted for us complete happiness. But in reality, finding a new man means you won't be able to spend as much time with your friends. You won't always be available when they call.

On top of that, you've found what they haven't. You're falling in love while they're still single. So, even if it's on a subconscious level, they can't seem to resist sabotaging you.


The problem is, it's hard to tell the difference between friends who truly mean well and friends who have ulterior motives. Often our own denial can have us mixing up the two. So what do you do when your friends tell you the man of your dreams is really a nightmare?

What if your family are the ones disapproving?

Everytime I see your face...

I feel like someone punched me in the stomach!

Grandma Van Loo

I've been thinking alot about people that are already gone from us! I love my Grandma VanLoo she passed away after being a cancer survivor 5 times of different types of cancer! She found out that she wasn't going to make it on Christmas Day! She didn't tell anybody though because she didn't want to ruin Christmas for everybody! My Grandma had a Irish wake since she was Irish so it was pretty cool! My Grandma Van Loo wasn't my blood Grandma but the whole family always treated me like I was always there and I was their family! I love her for that! I became part of the family when I was 4 after my mom got married to Karl, whom is the only dad that I have ever known! Grandma Van Loo will always be missed in my heart! I thank her for being the strong person that she was and always being there for me! She was the besT!!!


This is me and my brother at my Grandma's wake



My Grandpa Van Loo was so strong! He was telling us stories and things that we prob didn't know about my Grandma....it was hard for him to hold back the tears :(



My brother, cousin Rachel, me, and my sister! This is the first time I had seen my cousin Rachel in years! It was sooo great to see her!


This is my Grandma back in the day! Tiffany looks so much like her!





Just me and my lovely cousin Rachel

Welcome to America

Me and my beautiful Tannie....I know, I look a hot mess! (oh well, get used to it! Its a normal occurance!)



Ok...so to catch you up I will start way back when.....Yeee!!

This one time at band camp.....I'm so just kidding

Anyways Here are some pictures of some of my most awesomest friends!! One of them who happens to be a bay! Things started out happy but then I had to calm some people down! Jk! It was a blast! So much time has past that Sonya and Jason are a sweet little couple now! Doesn't that just make you sick?? Romance! Who needs it?! It was only the 2nd time that I have ever been ice skating! It was pretty fun actually! Tanya had never been so that made it even funner!! Of course I had bruises from the stupid ice skates...maybe I didn't put the stupid things on right....you know me! We couldn't stop laughing...I can't remember why! Maybe because I was trying to take pictures and I kept cutting everyones faces off....






All of us lovely people

Hey Pals

Ok Pals, so I tried to fix my blog page! It looks a hot mess right now so I won't tell you that I have been sitting at this computer for hours and my booty hurts now from sitting!! I know, too much information!! (Lol oh well, you'll get over it) Anyways, I have not been on here in like years so I will try and catch all you friends that don't read my blog anyways up eh eh! God Bless

♥Me

I seriously have the best friends that I can ever ask for! They are always there for me and can always cheer me up even when I am at my lowest! I love all of you guys!!

Bre I love that you can make me laugh even when I'm mad at you! We can be screaming at each other, but mention food and we forget all about why we were ever mad in the first place! You are serioulsy my mini me!! Sometimes I don't know what I would do without you!!

Jen I just love you to pieces! You always put me in line and make me so how things really are!! You seriously are the best!! Your more like a sister then a friend in my eyes! Thank you for always being there for me no matter what!!

Tiffy I am so glad that God made us sisters! I am so thankful that we are sooo close!! I don't know what I would do without you!! Good thing me and Bre have you for fashion or we would be so lost...LoL!! You inspire me to be a better person and be all that I can be!! (That so sounded like the army....brother is getting to me)

Tannie how can I forget about you! You are my best friend in the whole world! You are always there for me, rain or shine! I think that God destined us to be best friends! Its crazy how we have both been through similar things together! I love you for being you! You put up with me even though I'm wild and crazy! Even when you think that I am acting out of my mind, you just let me learn the hard way...even though you know that I will regret it! You just let me be.....well me!I love you!!

The 4 of you are my bays for life! Nobody else understand me the way that you guys do! I know that we will always be friends forever! Tiffy....you don't have a choice because I'm your sister! You poor thing! You can just tell everyone that I was adopted when I start acting crazy!! Recently you guys have really helped me realize things about you know who....I know that it will be hard...but I know that you guys will be there for me!! I love you guys from the bottom of my heart! Thank you for always putting up with me!

♥Me