Helllllloooo my Long lost loves!!! I know that you have missed my lovely little face just popping up!! :) You prob didn't even notice that I was gone!! Great friends you are!!! LOL JK!! I have sooo much catching up to do!! Better grab your pillow and blanket LOL!! Jen says that I should put the link to my blog on facebook so everyone can see what goes through my little mind and see how crazy I really am...but I'm not sure I'm ready to have no friends...LOL!! So thanks Jen, but I will consider you suggestion...don't count on it though!! I guess you know who your real friends are by the ones that stick around when are at your worst!! Tiff, Tanya, Tiff, and Bre have been there for me through thick and thin!! Haha I just noticed that I put Tiff twice!! She has to live with me so she has to endure more!! Poor thing!! I meant to put Jen!! Jen is the furthest away so can just hang up on me and tell Bre to sick me!! Haha!!
So there was this one guy that I was talking to for a whole year......but um....He's getting married!! Haha story of my life!! I'm happy for him!!
Seriously....I am...LOL
I went to camp meeting in August with Tanya and Tiff and it was AMAZING!! It was seriously fantastic!! I was going through a really tough time at the time and I really needed JESUS!! I told Tanya and Tiff that we had to sit in the front because I wanted to make sure that Jesus would fine me!! They thought I was just acting like my crazy self, but I was sooo serious!! See, thats what happens when you act crazy all the time...no one takes you seriously when you are really being serious!! The first night was really good, but the second night was BOMB!!! I feel sorry for the guy that was next to me at the altar....lets just say I'm sure he hates me....LOL...a lot!! There were 3 messages everyday and I felt like they were looking through my soul or something every single message!! Like they were reading off of a note pad that the Private Investigator gave them...LOL!! It was freaky!! But in a very good way!! Lets just say I didn't leave that place the same that I came in! I wanted Jesus to find me and indeed he did..LOL!!! I had never been to camp meeting so it was a really good first experience for me!! When I went I told myself...no guys!!! No browsing....keep your eyes on the altar!! I did pretty good for it being..well ME! LOL!! Tanya was even impressed so you know I was doing good!! It takes a lot to impress her!! I decided at Camp Meeting that I had to let a lot of stuff go and I needed to stop focusing so much on guys and needed to focus more on God!! I think that I was doing pretty well!! Until......
SO I met this guy....we will just call Bob! LOL thats not really his name, but just in case anyone knows him we will keep it on the down low!! In the very beggining Bob scared the living daylights out of me because yeah I wanted a boyfriend but it scared me after the last oh so wonderful one!! I guess guys are great until they get too close to me and then it freaks me out!! I get over it but it just takes awhile! Bob tried and tried to break my walls down, but I wasn't about to let anyone in. I've let people in partially but never really all the way. Its a downfall and I shouldn't be that way, but I am. Then I finally did it....I let him in! We were planning on getting married and I was planning on moving to New Mexico. FYI...thats the only hint you nosey friends of mine are getting to who it is...LOL!! But almost as quickly as it started it ended! It broke my heart because I really loved him! :( He always had some dumb reason for breaking up with me. A mutual friend thought that there might be someone else and he just needed a dumb reason to break it off....who really knows! Hes a guy...thats what guys do...LOL!! Now if I would've blogged this about a month ago this would've been one LONG...agonizing story...LOL!! All my really close friends had to hear about it for what seemed like forever...poor dolls!! Tanya says I need to learn to just let things go, but thats so hard for me!! I hold on to things and try to fix things for like years....seriously!! I'm a fixer...I like to fix things that I think are broken but sometimes I have to realize that I can't fix everything!! I'm not super woman!! The one thing that makes me sad is that we aren't friends anymore and don't even speak to each other. We ruined a great friendship by being in a relationship. :( What can you do though? I've tried everything that I can think of, but hes stubborn....LOL....just like me!! I want to still be friends but I need to get that little thought out of my pretty little head!! SOme days are easier then others, and I wish I had a little switch to switch on and off to not care about someone anymore....but I don't!! Thats enough about BOB...LOL
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