I officially hate moving!!

I officially hate moving!! Why can't everything just magically appear where you want it to go?? Moving stinks!!

You are the love of my life

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-qdErB-ubI

Isn't it beautiful??

Hello again world!!

yi yi yi!! I am so exhausted!! I have been trying to cram all of my stuff into my car and its not working very well!! I'm going to have to throw a lot of my stuff in the dumpster! (tear) I have come to the conclusion that maybe, just maybe, I have way too many clothes!! It is scorching outside!! Everytime I get some more energy and walk outside, the sun soaks it all up! My sister says its just because I'm a bum! Maybe thats true! As soon as I FINALLY finish packing and throwing everything else away it will take me at least 21 hours to drive home! My dad, my mom, or my brother was supposed to fly out here and help me move and pack, but the plane tickets were too expensive, so now they aren't!! (tear) Maybe its a good thing cause I prob would've sat in the house while they packed the car!! LOL! Don't worry...when I get home...they are so unpacking my car!! I guess since it will prob be mothers day when I get there, my mom will have to do it!! Lol j/k! I'm not that cruel!! I am really excited about going back home...well kinda. I want to be around my family and my best of friends, but I will miss living in my own apartment! I'm going to check the rock church out when I get back to Cali! My friend Sandy is going to go with me since she lives in Sacramento, I hope that it impacts her in a good way! She didn't care for Promise Land when she went there with me! She had a bad experience! So pray this will be a good experience for her! It would be awesome for us to go to church together somewhere!

If I would've got my lazy bum in gear I could be laying at the beautiful California beach with Tannie right now!! How depressing! Instead I'm here in good 'ol west texas!

I seriously need a nice strong man to do all of my moving duties...lol.

I guess I should stop being lazy and go outside and at least pretend to move stuff around...haha

I really think that I could sleep for weeks when this is all over!!

What a great great day with Yvette

Oh my goodnes!! I was laughing so hard! I just love my home girl Yvette's daughter!! She is so freaking adorable!! Dayleen was over at my house chilling with me and Yvette and she was all following Cornflake around calling her Popcorn!! It was soooo cute! She is adorable! She would laugh super hard everytime that Cornflake licked her!! Everytime I try to speak spanish to her, she looks at me like I done lost my mind...lol

Yvette is my blonde mexican home girl!! She is such a dummy, but that is why I love her!! So she was telling me a story about when she was pregnant and I'm going to share with you her smarts...lol

So there was a guy that she thought was really hot before she got pregnant, but she never talked to him, he just gave her the "eye". So she thought he was into her or whatever. When she got pregnant she didn't see him because she stayed home a lot. Well she saw him at a resturant when she was VERY pregnant and he was outside and he could only see her face. When he came into the resturant and saw her stomach he kind of looked at weird! She was trying to get her grub on and she was eating a burrito. The guy looked and her and said what are you having??

What do you think my amazing friend said????

She said she was having a combonation with some bacon........

He said I meant the baby.....

What a genius!! I couldn't stop laughing!! She told me the story because we went to Bush's chicken to go and get a drink and this really hot guy came to our car to get our order. She was kind of flirting with him and he said that our total was only $1. Yvette was freaking out and said that home boy was hooking us up. She was going on and said it was because she talked to him in spanish...lol. We were making fools of ourselves because we thought he gave us a discount. When we pulled out of the drive thru there was a big sign that said happy hour....drinks $0.47...haha we are so dumb!

Oh My

Oh my!! It has been a rough couple of days!! I have been crying my little eyes out! I am so thankful for such great friends at times like these. I don't know what I would do without them! They are the greatest!! They can make me laugh when all I want to do is cry! I hope I get over my little delima very soon!!

♥Me

What a day!!

What a tiring day! I didn't do a thing! I sat around and ate all day!! I know....I was super lazy! I'm still tired from driving 1600 miles....twice....to California and back! Whew! What a journey! I have to go to work in the morning! Joy of all joys! I think that I forgot how to do my job...haha! Until next time!!

♥Me

Letting Go

So, I don't know why I have the hardest time letting go of certain people that are in my life! They treat me like trash, but if they act just a little bit nicer its like I forget about everything and act like nothing ever happened. Even though they just go right back to treating me like trash the next day! Bre says that I just need to get "black" on some people. I tried being mean, but when I am, I always feel bad. Ugh!! It is sooo frustrating at times!! Everytime that I think that I am done with him, he magically just prances right back into my life! Its like a death trap!! Help!!

♥Me

If a man wants you

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.

Slower is better. Never live your life for a man, before you find what makes you happy.

If a relationship ends because the man wasn't treating you as you deserve, then heck no, you cannot "be friends."

A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle. If you feel like he's stringing you along, then he probably is.

Don't stay because you think "it will get better."

You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.

He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, so why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bother you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything, He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man's behavior.

Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are even if he's making more , has an higher education, or has a better job.

Don't make him into a quasi-god.

He's a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man.

If he cheated with you, he's cheat on you.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending comprise is a two way street.

You need time to heal between relationships there is nothing cute about baggage. Deal with you issues before pursuing a new relationship.

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you.. A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals look for someone complimentary not supplementary.

Dating is fun even if he doesn't turn out o be Mr. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes when a man always knows where you are and our always readily available to him. He takes it for granted.

Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man.

Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.

Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Share this with other ladies

You'll make them smile, another rethink her choices, and another women prepare.

♥One day my Prince will come

--One day your prince will come, mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions.
--Smile always ... and live the smile!
--The best thing you can give someone is a chance.
--Don't push anyone to hard, if it's meant to be, it will happen.
--They say true love hides behind every corner ... I must be walking in circles!
--Tonight I'll ask the stars above, "How will I win your love? What do I do? What do I say to turn your eyes my way?"
--For all of you who talk about me ... thanks for making me the center of your world!
--Never start frowning because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
--When a girl loves a guy, the sweetest thing in the world is to hear him admit that he treasures her.
--Love is giving someone the power to break your heart, but trusting that they won't.
--A boyfriend is someone you can go to crying in your PJs, your hair a mess, make-up running down your face, and he'd still say, "Baby, you're beautiful"!
--Once you find the right person, all of a sudden, anything is possible.
--Making sacrifices is what love is all about, just make sure you're not the only one making them.
--Friendship is just a word, but girls give it a meaning.

So

So today I was reminded that I am so much better then what I always settle for. Maybe I was over it and never realized that I was. I have lowered my standards and its time that I raise them up again. I have done a lot of thinking during the past couple of days. Im a little hurt but at least I know the truth now and can make a decision based off that. I think that I havent been living in "reality" about the situation.

Ugh....Men!

I seriously do not understand guys at all!!! Why do they act like they want one thing just to be like surprise thats not what I want....I want this. Which is perfectly fine but I think we would've saved everyone a lot of heartache if they would've just said that in the very beginning. Why do guys play games?? Is it really that fun?? Does it get you off in some weird twisted way?? I seriously do not understand! Why am I always like your best friend or a little sister?? Maybe I don't want to be your best friend or little sister!! Always the friend never the bride. I'm not saying that I want to run to the chapel and get married..I just want more then to just be your best friend. I was talking to Tanya last night about everything and I must be doing something wrong. What that is, I have no idea. I am just confused and frustrated!! So if I seem way quiet, its because I'm trying to let you go without hurting both of us. I don't know what else to say to you..I've said all there is to say. You want the best of both worlds, but I'm sorry, thats just not going to happen. Not with this girl anyways. I'm going to stop before I say too much!!!!

Random Gibberish

its amazing how you feel like your life is going in such a way that your almost miserable but not quite...then all of a sudden everything changes for you. As a lot of my close friends know...my heart has been in pieces. I felt like i would never get over this person even though its been 2 years. Its been really hard for me to accept the fact that we are over but i have finally accepted it. It was a lot of praying and a whole lot of crying. I know that i will have to work at it everyday and i know that my feelings wont just vanish. I kept asking god why he allows me to hurt and i finally got a answer. Scars are there to remind you of the past and who you were. I was reminded yesterday of how much i have grown and how different i am since moving back to cali. Also i couldnt understand why i couldnt let stuff go...this very special person told me i hadnt learned what god was trying to teach me. Which was true....i was trying to do everything on my own and i wasnt trusting in god at all. Lets just say that yesterday my eyes opened up to a lot of things and i have peace and can accept his decision in my heart now. Im also glad that i never hooked up with anyone cause i would have drove any man to drinking...lol seriously. On a side note..i met this amazing person! He has so many qualities that i admire..ill keep you updated

Letting go takes love

To let go does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off,
it's the realization I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable,
but allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means
the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
it's to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.
To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective,
it's to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny,
but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.

To let go is to fear less and love more
Remember: The time to love is short

And I DO LOVE YOU THIS IS WHY I LET YOU GO !

Put down the phone and nobody gets hurt

Closure. It's amazing what we will do for it. We'll move mountains, stand for hours in the pouring rain, smear macaroni and cheese over our body and show up wearing nothing but a trench coat. All so we can tie up our failed relationship with a neat little bow.

So he's vanished on you. Whether it's been two weeks or two years, there's no denying it sucks. All of a sudden you're left wondering what you did wrong. How could you not have seen it coming? Everything seemed to be going so well. Just one more conversation will help you understand it all. He's your drug and you need a fix. So you pick up the phone to call, with the following fantasy conversation running through your head:

You: Hi, John. How have you been?
John: Miserable. Life without you is unbearable. How could I have been such a fool to let you go? I'll be over in five minutes to spend every second of the rest of my life making it up to you.

In reality, the conversation goes a little like this:

You: Hi, John. How have you been?
John: Fine.
You: You haven't called for a while.
John: Yeah, I've been busy.
You: Can I see you?
John: I've really got a lot going on right now. I don't have a minute to spare.

"Busy" is guy code for "I'm just not that into you." To tell the truth, it's girl code too. We all jump through hoops to avoid hurting someone else. No one wants to say, "You know, you're just not doing it for me anymore." Pain is a fact of life -- sometimes we cause it, sometimes someone causes it for us. But there's no denying when a relationship is right, there will be no need to beg the other person to see you. He won't be able to stay away.

Closure isn't something someone else gives you. It is something you give yourself, once you've healed. There's nothing that other person can tell you to help you heal any faster; you simply must mourn the relationship and reach a point where you're ready to move on. And the best way to start healing is to cut off all contact.

So before you pick up that telephone, imagine how you'll feel when he doesn't answer. Or when he blows you off. Every time you call, you're just giving him one more chance to hurt you. If he weren't planning to reject you, don't you think he'd be calling you? Surely he hasn't forgotten your phone number already.

Very wise words I once read: "Every romantic relationship you ever have will not work out. Until you find the one that does." It just takes one, folks. And it could be that person you meet six months after you've kicked the sorry jerk who didn't treat you right out of your life...or six years later. There's no way to know for sure. But the only way to find him is to get over the one who doesn't want you and get back out there again.

When your friends don't like your boyfriend

Every girl wants a group of friends like the ones in Sex and the City. Friends who are there for you through everything. Friends who show up at your house when you've gone through a breakup with a pint of Ben and Jerry's and a box of Kleenex. Friends who sit with you all night, wiping your nose as you cry your heart out. Or just come over to get you drunk and try to make you laugh.


Friends who take you out on the town to get your mind off of things.

Friends who are elated for you when you find the man of your dreams and want to punch his lights out when he hurts you.


Most of the time, if your friends don't like your man it's because of something YOU have told them. But occasionally there's someone that comes along that just sets off the "bad guy radar" in one or all of the girls you hang out with. Maybe it's based on men you've dated in the past. Maybe he's just one of those guys who has "loser" written all over him. Or maybe he talks to you like you're dirt. Whatever the case, with this guy, they schedule an intervention. They all come to you to break the news to you. And that is:

"We don't like this guy."

So what do you do?

Remember, these are friends you've had for a long time. Friends who have been with you through everything. While it's true, YOU are the one who has to spend significant amounts of time with him, not them, doesn't their opinion count for something?


I see two scenarios here. On the good side, your friends know you better than anyone. They have your best interests at heart. If they're telling you they don't like your man, maybe you should listen. Nobody knows you as well as THEY know you.

Except...well...YOU.

But love is blind and who's to say your instincts about this new guy aren't completely off. Maybe he is the jerk they say he is. Maybe you should listen to your friends and "lose that loser." But what if they don't have your best interests at heart? What if their disapproval is motivated by something else? A little evil monster called...


Not jealousy because they want the man you have but jealousy because they want WHAT you have. Which is happiness. In an ideal world, we'd all have friends like Miranda and Charlotte and Samantha -- friends who only wanted for us complete happiness. But in reality, finding a new man means you won't be able to spend as much time with your friends. You won't always be available when they call.

On top of that, you've found what they haven't. You're falling in love while they're still single. So, even if it's on a subconscious level, they can't seem to resist sabotaging you.


The problem is, it's hard to tell the difference between friends who truly mean well and friends who have ulterior motives. Often our own denial can have us mixing up the two. So what do you do when your friends tell you the man of your dreams is really a nightmare?

What if your family are the ones disapproving?

Everytime I see your face...

I feel like someone punched me in the stomach!

Grandma Van Loo

I've been thinking alot about people that are already gone from us! I love my Grandma VanLoo she passed away after being a cancer survivor 5 times of different types of cancer! She found out that she wasn't going to make it on Christmas Day! She didn't tell anybody though because she didn't want to ruin Christmas for everybody! My Grandma had a Irish wake since she was Irish so it was pretty cool! My Grandma Van Loo wasn't my blood Grandma but the whole family always treated me like I was always there and I was their family! I love her for that! I became part of the family when I was 4 after my mom got married to Karl, whom is the only dad that I have ever known! Grandma Van Loo will always be missed in my heart! I thank her for being the strong person that she was and always being there for me! She was the besT!!!


This is me and my brother at my Grandma's wake



My Grandpa Van Loo was so strong! He was telling us stories and things that we prob didn't know about my Grandma....it was hard for him to hold back the tears :(



My brother, cousin Rachel, me, and my sister! This is the first time I had seen my cousin Rachel in years! It was sooo great to see her!


This is my Grandma back in the day! Tiffany looks so much like her!





Just me and my lovely cousin Rachel

Welcome to America

Me and my beautiful Tannie....I know, I look a hot mess! (oh well, get used to it! Its a normal occurance!)



Ok...so to catch you up I will start way back when.....Yeee!!

This one time at band camp.....I'm so just kidding

Anyways Here are some pictures of some of my most awesomest friends!! One of them who happens to be a bay! Things started out happy but then I had to calm some people down! Jk! It was a blast! So much time has past that Sonya and Jason are a sweet little couple now! Doesn't that just make you sick?? Romance! Who needs it?! It was only the 2nd time that I have ever been ice skating! It was pretty fun actually! Tanya had never been so that made it even funner!! Of course I had bruises from the stupid ice skates...maybe I didn't put the stupid things on right....you know me! We couldn't stop laughing...I can't remember why! Maybe because I was trying to take pictures and I kept cutting everyones faces off....






All of us lovely people

Hey Pals

Ok Pals, so I tried to fix my blog page! It looks a hot mess right now so I won't tell you that I have been sitting at this computer for hours and my booty hurts now from sitting!! I know, too much information!! (Lol oh well, you'll get over it) Anyways, I have not been on here in like years so I will try and catch all you friends that don't read my blog anyways up eh eh! God Bless

♥Me

I seriously have the best friends that I can ever ask for! They are always there for me and can always cheer me up even when I am at my lowest! I love all of you guys!!

Bre I love that you can make me laugh even when I'm mad at you! We can be screaming at each other, but mention food and we forget all about why we were ever mad in the first place! You are serioulsy my mini me!! Sometimes I don't know what I would do without you!!

Jen I just love you to pieces! You always put me in line and make me so how things really are!! You seriously are the best!! Your more like a sister then a friend in my eyes! Thank you for always being there for me no matter what!!

Tiffy I am so glad that God made us sisters! I am so thankful that we are sooo close!! I don't know what I would do without you!! Good thing me and Bre have you for fashion or we would be so lost...LoL!! You inspire me to be a better person and be all that I can be!! (That so sounded like the army....brother is getting to me)

Tannie how can I forget about you! You are my best friend in the whole world! You are always there for me, rain or shine! I think that God destined us to be best friends! Its crazy how we have both been through similar things together! I love you for being you! You put up with me even though I'm wild and crazy! Even when you think that I am acting out of my mind, you just let me learn the hard way...even though you know that I will regret it! You just let me be.....well me!I love you!!

The 4 of you are my bays for life! Nobody else understand me the way that you guys do! I know that we will always be friends forever! Tiffy....you don't have a choice because I'm your sister! You poor thing! You can just tell everyone that I was adopted when I start acting crazy!! Recently you guys have really helped me realize things about you know who....I know that it will be hard...but I know that you guys will be there for me!! I love you guys from the bottom of my heart! Thank you for always putting up with me!

♥Me