My Dear Friend Michelle

I thank God for putting the most amazing people into my life!! My friend Michelle is prob the sweetest person that I have ever met and has been such a encouragement in my life!! When I am down I can call her and she can instantly lift my spirits up! She has such a beautiful spirit! I love her soooo much!! She is such a positive and encouraging person to be around! I am so happy for her!! She is getting married in March and I can't wait!! God has blessed her abundantly!! It seems just like yesterday we were sitting around the table at Rosa's talking about how single we were and then BAM shes getting married!!! She just glows whenever I see her!!! Congrats to you Michelle and David!!! Love you bunches!!!!!

Kaylynne says the craziest things...ever!!

Kaylynne told me some crazy stuff today!! First she told me that Heaven is making Christmas right now....then she said that when she grows up she wants to be like me and work at Taco Bell, but if she can't then she wants to work at McDonalds...LOL.....Plus she said that I do my hair like a mexican!! What is that supposed to mean??!!

Money

It can buy a house…….but not a home.
It can buy a clock….….but not time.
It can buy a position…….but not respect.
It can buy a bed….….but not sleep.
It can buy a book….….but not knowledge.
It can buy medicine……but not health.
It can buy blood….….but not life.

So you see, money isn’t everything. It often causes pain and $uffering. I tell you this because I am your friend, and as your friend, I want to take away your pain and $uffering…So send me all your money, and I will $uffer for you!!!


(Cash only please)

Random but on my heart

I stole part of this from my friend Jen! Its crazy cause shes younger then me, but we can talk about really deep stuff together!

"The greatest battle we fight is not against the devil, and not even against the world....but against our own will." Wow. He went on to say that each and every one of us struggle with letting our own will crumble. We can spend years and years building our own will without realizing it, when what we really should be doing is giving our will completely to God. It so hard because you can't see the big picture, you don't know what will happen if you don't get your way because you're not in control. But I'm really starting to learn and understand more that I CAN trust God with my life. He knows it all, not me! Things might seen dark right now but if you give your will and your life completely to God, the light WILL come and He WILL take care of you! (Proverbs 3:5-6, and Matthew 6:33 say it all about this.) Must read!!

I want to make sure that I am doing God's will and not Amy's will! Its hard cause we always think that we know best! God allows us to be in control and it crumbles apart everytime, but when we trust him things work out!

Wowzers

Wow!! So the week that "BOB" and I broke up was a horrible week!! It was soooo emotional!!! Bob breaks up with me on Monday and then on Tuesday I found out that, well we will just call him Fred, got married. I wasn't sad that Fred got married, I was more in shock then anything! I was just staring into space saying wow, like over and over!! Its a hard situation! Theres no way that Fred and I could ever be together again! Its hard though cause we were best friends and then were engaged, then lived together, and were constantly in each others lives for 9 years! Thats a long time to be apart of somebodys life. Theres apart of me that will always love him, but I can't be his BFF anymore!! Its too hard!! Everyone knows mine and Fred's past...its a rough and rocky past....but despite everything I think that hes a good person! He just e-mailed me the other day and told me how much he misses my friendship and still wants to be friends and how sorry he is about "BOB" and how "BOB" is retarded.....I was thinking...well....I guess you and BOB are both retards then...LOL!! I didn't say it out loud though!! When I read his e-mail I was at church and I just started crying like hard core!! Theres a lot of feelings that I keep supressed, I guess you could say. When he talks to me he makes all kinds of memories, events, feelings, and emotions come flooding through me! Thats why I have been ignoring him for months now! It just has been easier that way...for me! Since he has been texting and e-mailing me I have to give myself pep talks just to go to sleep!! I can't let it get the best of me and bring me down to the level that I was at! It has taken me 3 years to make the progress that I have made it to at this point! It has not been a easy road for me! When he came to Texas we said our "real" goodbyes! That meant forever.....we weren't going to have anything to do with each other! Me and him have this really bad cycle that we have to talk to each other at least every 3 months! I don't know how he expects to keep talking to me having a wife!! I'm sure that she doesn't like him talking to me! Knowing our past and what a strong bond and connection we have.....no girl in her right mind would! I know when I have somebody special in my life or I'm married I'm not going to be able to continue any kind of relationship with him. He complicates things for me! To make a long story short, I haven't decided if I am going to continue to have a friendship with him! I already told him that I'm not going to make a decision with my emotions because if that was the case we all know what my decision would be!! I'm not going to set myself up to get hurt! I've had enough hurt for this year!! Between him and BOB, I can't take much more! Hes expecting me to e-mail him back but I don't think that he wants me to tell him how I feel! He'd prob be really mad when he got done reading it...I'm sure of it!! I already wrote him a e-mail before I broke up with him but decided not to send it cause it was really rude!! I don't know what to do!! Whatever is going to cause me the least amount of pain and suffering!!! I don't know why I continue to torture myself!!! LOL Enough about that!!!

Friends? Or more?

How can you tell if something is a date or you are just friends?? Theres this guy and I see him ONLY as a friend...nothing else!! Sometimes hes bordering just being friends...LOL!! So anyways we were hanging out and I was like all bummish looking and he was all decked out like we were going to meet the president!!! What we were doing was VERY casual!! Do I give him some kind of signal that there is something more?? Cause whatever that signal is...it needs to be cut off!! I think hes cool as a friend, but nothing else!! I don't want to hurt his feelings, I'm just not into him like that!! Help!!!

Times Of Refreshing

I so want to go to Life Challenge in Jan to go to Times Of Refreshing!!! All I gotta do is convince one of my nice friends that are just dying to have me stay with them!!! :) Yes? I need to visit anyways cause I am having withdrawls from all my Texas friends!!! :)

Wedding Bells!!!

Oh-Emm-Gee!!!! I almost forgot to tell you guys the most important news of all!!! My friend Michelle is getting married!!! Yay!!! I am soooo excited!! You would think it was my wedding or something!! LOL!! I saw her proposal video and I cried like a baby!! I couldn't even hear anything the first time that I saw it and I was crying!! When I was saw her cry then I really lost it!! I'm no good at weddings!! I always cry!!! LOL!! I don't know why...LOL...I'm not even really that emotional of a person!! I can't wait till March 13th!!! I'm going to Texas to see her get married off!!! Love is soooo beautiful!! I think that I have told all of my friends by now about Michelle and her wedding at least a dozen times!! I'm just sooo happy!! So my question is...when is it my turn??

Digger

We got a new dog!! Digger!! I love him!! He is sooooo cute!! Cornflake, of course, hates him!! Shes so bi-polar these days! She hates everyone!! Even me sometimes!! LOL!!

Laalalalalalala Cruise!!!!

Lalalalalalala I'm going on a cruise!!! Yeeee-ah!!! UPC should really hire me as a recruiter!! Ive got quite a few people wanting to go on the cruise!! Of course most of them have been guys...LOL!! Theres going to be toooo many girls as it is!! Technically I'm doing the girls a favor!! I'm evening the ratio of guys to girls out!! Right?? LOL Sounds good to me!!! Its a UPC Singles Cruise that is going to the Carribeans and I can't wait!!! Sooooo excited!! Why do you think I am working 3 jobs?? Not for my health...LOL!!! I think that it will be a lot of fun!! I plan on being on the beach every time that the boat docks!!! I love the beach!! I want to go jet skiing and parasailing!! Anyone down?? Tanya won't go parasailing with me!! Shes a loser!! LOL jk Tanya....I love you!!!

Job

So I finally got a job! Soooo not the job that I want but I guess it will do until I can find something that is better!!! Back at grand 'ol Taco Bell!!! I swore that I would never step foot into that place again, but look where the economy has drug me...LOL!! I'm pretty sure that the District Manager is a drug dealer.....I was like...wow!!! Then I was like....Get me outta here!!! I hate the place but they give me a paycheck!! Who knows where that grand paycheck can take me!! :) I also work at Rue 21 and thats not bad since Tanya is my boss and all!! Oh yeah, and I also watch Kaylynne and Ayla!! Thats a super easy job! They are sooo good!! They are definitly preparing me to be a mom someday!! :) I taught Ayla how to say crazy...LOL....I have to watch what I say around her!! She kp saying it over and over!!! I was looking for a switch to turn her off, but alas she didn't come with one!!!!! KK told me today did you know that heaven is making christmas and the devil made halloween??!! Haha sooo cute!! She also said that the devil was making her bones move around...LOL....kinda freaky!!! So lets have a moment of silence in honor of Amy's bomb new job that doesn't include dirty diapers, burritos, tacos, or folding clothes!!!!!

Helllloooo Loooovveeesss

Helllllloooo my Long lost loves!!! I know that you have missed my lovely little face just popping up!! :) You prob didn't even notice that I was gone!! Great friends you are!!! LOL JK!! I have sooo much catching up to do!! Better grab your pillow and blanket LOL!! Jen says that I should put the link to my blog on facebook so everyone can see what goes through my little mind and see how crazy I really am...but I'm not sure I'm ready to have no friends...LOL!! So thanks Jen, but I will consider you suggestion...don't count on it though!! I guess you know who your real friends are by the ones that stick around when are at your worst!! Tiff, Tanya, Tiff, and Bre have been there for me through thick and thin!! Haha I just noticed that I put Tiff twice!! She has to live with me so she has to endure more!! Poor thing!! I meant to put Jen!! Jen is the furthest away so can just hang up on me and tell Bre to sick me!! Haha!!

So there was this one guy that I was talking to for a whole year......but um....He's getting married!! Haha story of my life!! I'm happy for him!!

Seriously....I am...LOL

I went to camp meeting in August with Tanya and Tiff and it was AMAZING!! It was seriously fantastic!! I was going through a really tough time at the time and I really needed JESUS!! I told Tanya and Tiff that we had to sit in the front because I wanted to make sure that Jesus would fine me!! They thought I was just acting like my crazy self, but I was sooo serious!! See, thats what happens when you act crazy all the time...no one takes you seriously when you are really being serious!! The first night was really good, but the second night was BOMB!!! I feel sorry for the guy that was next to me at the altar....lets just say I'm sure he hates me....LOL...a lot!! There were 3 messages everyday and I felt like they were looking through my soul or something every single message!! Like they were reading off of a note pad that the Private Investigator gave them...LOL!! It was freaky!! But in a very good way!! Lets just say I didn't leave that place the same that I came in! I wanted Jesus to find me and indeed he did..LOL!!! I had never been to camp meeting so it was a really good first experience for me!! When I went I told myself...no guys!!! No browsing....keep your eyes on the altar!! I did pretty good for it being..well ME! LOL!! Tanya was even impressed so you know I was doing good!! It takes a lot to impress her!! I decided at Camp Meeting that I had to let a lot of stuff go and I needed to stop focusing so much on guys and needed to focus more on God!! I think that I was doing pretty well!! Until......

SO I met this guy....we will just call Bob! LOL thats not really his name, but just in case anyone knows him we will keep it on the down low!! In the very beggining Bob scared the living daylights out of me because yeah I wanted a boyfriend but it scared me after the last oh so wonderful one!! I guess guys are great until they get too close to me and then it freaks me out!! I get over it but it just takes awhile! Bob tried and tried to break my walls down, but I wasn't about to let anyone in. I've let people in partially but never really all the way. Its a downfall and I shouldn't be that way, but I am. Then I finally did it....I let him in! We were planning on getting married and I was planning on moving to New Mexico. FYI...thats the only hint you nosey friends of mine are getting to who it is...LOL!! But almost as quickly as it started it ended! It broke my heart because I really loved him! :( He always had some dumb reason for breaking up with me. A mutual friend thought that there might be someone else and he just needed a dumb reason to break it off....who really knows! Hes a guy...thats what guys do...LOL!! Now if I would've blogged this about a month ago this would've been one LONG...agonizing story...LOL!! All my really close friends had to hear about it for what seemed like forever...poor dolls!! Tanya says I need to learn to just let things go, but thats so hard for me!! I hold on to things and try to fix things for like years....seriously!! I'm a fixer...I like to fix things that I think are broken but sometimes I have to realize that I can't fix everything!! I'm not super woman!! The one thing that makes me sad is that we aren't friends anymore and don't even speak to each other. We ruined a great friendship by being in a relationship. :( What can you do though? I've tried everything that I can think of, but hes stubborn....LOL....just like me!! I want to still be friends but I need to get that little thought out of my pretty little head!! SOme days are easier then others, and I wish I had a little switch to switch on and off to not care about someone anymore....but I don't!! Thats enough about BOB...LOL

Bre is a hott mess!!!

Need I say anymore?

Jobless

No bueno! I am still jobless! I really need to get my butt in gear and get a job! Its been kind of nice laying around the house and doing stuff with my girls everyday! When I work its hard for us to do anything at all cause I'm always working or our hours conflict! Last week I stayed with my bff for 4 days and I thought I lived with her for a second there lol. We were at my moms and I told her something about I was visiting her. Tannie looked at me all crazy and was like you live here haha! It was funny! So now she has to remind me where I live! I've never not had a job for this long! Maybe that's why I've been feeling lazy, cause I'm not working. Pray that I get a job really really soon!!

oh my

Why is it raining and thundering outside? Its supposed to be summer! What's going on?!